I'm Hungering For An Apocalypse...
- Me: -shares link about man in Miami being killed after found chewing on the head of another man-
- Sui: Oh... Oh my gosh. DX
- Me: My dad is like... an hour from Miami. I live in Florida. I am terrified this is zombies.
- Sui: No, no zombies. Zombies cannot be real, sadly. .... A rage virus, however, yes.
- Me: Well, you know what I mean. Something... incredibly fast-spreading and uncontrollable.
- Sui: Ah shit, and I am sick right now.
- Me: So I am. So is my family. My boyfriend. And one of my friends. No. Me. Fucking. Gusta.
- Sui: We're all going to be eating one another shortly. Damn.
- Me: I never thought the day would come where you would willingly eat me, Sui.
- Sui: I just got the creepiest of smiles, dude.
You're Doing It Wrong.
- Me: Mom, could you buy an oven mitt, please? I burnt my thumb today.
- Mom: How?
- Me: I was getting pizza rolls out of the oven, and since we don't have a mitt, I had to use a washcloth. The washcloth slipped and my thumb was all "I GOT THIS BRO" and yeah. Ow.
- Mom: Did you wet the washcloth first?
- Me: What? No.
- Mom: Then you're doing it wrong.
- Me: Of course I'm doing it wrong. I WAS USING A WASHCLOTH.
I like how they’re in costume despite the fact that there doesn’t appear to be anyone else there
Dedication. Team Rocket has it.
(via nhum)
Source: mightyenas
RE: ORC
So… seven Hunters butt-rape me with their massive talons, and I survive.
BARELY, but I survive.
A zombie pukes in my general direction, and it kills me.
Why?
I’m wearing tactical armor and a gasmask.
Hunter talons - nothing.
Zombie puke - too much, man.
RE: ORC
Shot an enemy in the crotch and he started to blood frenzy (aka - he started bleeding out). So I yell:
“HA! YOU’RE BLEEDING FROM THE CROTCH! NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL, YOU SON OF A BITCH!”
Sometimes, ORC is good. c:
my childhood.
Drake: You calling me a liar?!
Josh: I ain’t calling you a truther!
Josh: You want a mouth full of fist?!
Drake: You want a butt full of foot?!
Josh: I hope you go bald!
Drake: I hope they cancel Oprah!
Josh: *GASP* You take that back!
(via nhum)
Source: giraffessippingtea
The kiss of death.
This astonishing sculpture forms part of Barcelona’s Poblenou Cemetery. The Kiss of Death (El Petó de la Mort in Catalan and El beso de la muerte in Spanish) dates back to 1930. A winged skeleton bestows a kiss on the lips of a handsome young man: is it ecstasy on his face or resignation? Little wonder the sculpture elicits strong and varying responses from whoever gazes upon it.
This is just beautiful. <3
(via nhum)
Source: kuriositas.com
Nightly Dorkly .GIF: Kinko’s made a mint off this.
(via fyeahmortalkombat)
Source: dorkly
